Children's emotional wellbeing and mental health

Positive emotional health not only prevents mental ill health but also allows children to enjoy life, believe in their abilities and cope with life's ups and downs. It helps children to think clearly, develop socially, learn new skills and build self-esteem.

Nip in the Bud

Learning about children's mental health through film.
Nip in the Bud was set up to encourage awareness about mental health disorders in children.
There is a range of short films that explain more about the different kinds of disorders, how to recognise them and how to help a child who has one.

Watch videos from Nip in the Bud

Exploring my emotions

A video resource from Thrive exploring joy, sadness, fear, and anger.
Each video focuses on one of the four core emotions: joy, sadness, fear or anger.

The videos explore what the different emotions can feel like and offer age-appropriate strategies to use when young people experience that feeling.

Exploring my emotions - Thrive download pack [PDF, 470KB]

Building resilience

Maintain a daily routine and establish boundaries

This can be reassuring to children as they need structure in their lives. Encourage your child to develop his or her own routines with your support. Established boundaries help a child to cope and feel safe as well as providing structure to help them determine right from wrong. 

Teach your child good self-care

Be a role model, show and teach your child the importance of making time to eat properly, exercise and rest. Primary school children need on average between 10-11.5 hours of sleep per night. Not enough, poor or interrupted sleep can affect school and home life. Good sleep hygiene and routine should be encouraged. Avoid stimulating electronic games two hours before bedtime and no TV, computers or phones in the bedroom.

Have fun and play together

Play is essential to growing up. Playing games such as board games helps a child to learn to manage their impulsive behaviour, take turns, solve problems and connect with others. Encouraging children to take part in different activities gives them the opportunity to find something they may enjoy, be good at and learn new skills. Having fun, hugs and smiles will help your child stay balanced and better deal with worries. 

Connect

Children thrive when they feel loved, understood and safe. A child's close ties to family and community with at least one supportive caring person can help to create this comfort and safety. Close family and friends can provide support to a child when they face disappointments or are upset. Teach your child how to make friends, and encourage your child to be a friend in order to get a friend by showing kindness to each other, sharing things and playing together. 

Helping others

Ask your child to help you with a task that they can master. Helping others can make a child feel valued as well as a sense of achievement when the task is accomplished. 

Teach problem-solving skills and goal setting

This is a learned skill, help your child to learn to solve their own problem. Help them to focus on one small problem at a time rather than the bigger picture to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Questions to consider asking, what do they need to do? How might they do it? And who can help? Or what has worked before? Giving praise along the way will help them to focus on what has been accomplished so far. 

Being brave and facing their fears

This enables your child to face uncomfortable, scared feelings with support, instead of relying on others to sort it out. Remind your child they can do hard things, and use examples of when they have been brave previously to acknowledge their bravery, strength and effort when facing their current difficulty.

Try new activities

Find opportunities that encourage your child to take a risk and try something new. Support them to plan the activity then review it to help them see what worked well and not so well. 

Acknowledge that it is ok to make mistakes or fail

Rather than viewing an event such as a poor test result as a failure or a huge mistake, help your child to see it as a learning opportunity. What have they learnt from the experience? What can they do differently next time? 

Encourage optimism

If your child tends to have a glass-half-empty view of a situation acknowledge their view but show them an alternative. In times of difficulty help your child to focus on what they have rather than what they may have lost, acknowledge the disappointment and move towards an opportunity it may have created.

Model resiliency

Be a positive role model, let them see how you deal with difficult situations and bring them into your emotional world when appropriate. It will help a child see they are all ordinary human experiences and that they are not abnormal in having difficulties in life.

Let them talk

Allow time to listen with interest to your child without judging. Try to resist solving their problems and help them explore their solutions to a problem. Always answer questions truthfully but provide a level of information that is age-appropriate.

Understanding and managing feelings and behaviours

Helping your child to recognise how they are feeling and behaving will increase their capacity to develop coping strategies. Let them see that all emotions are ok and when they are feeling distressed or sad that these feelings don't last forever, that they will pass; it's a normal response to a difficult situation. 

Useful links

Young Minds help for parents

Young minds can help guide you while you support your child. They have lots of practical advice and tips on supporting your child - from how to encourage your child to open up about their feelings to dealing with mental health services. They also have a phone line and web chat.

Young Minds website

NHS Advice for parents

Talking to your child about their feelings can often help. The NHS website has some useful guidance on cues to look out for. When you should become worried and how to deal with aggressive behaviour.

NHS Parent Guidance

Kooth online mental wellbeing community

Kooth is your online mental well-being community. Access is free, safe and anonymous. It helps children and young people to feel safe and confident in exploring their concerns and seeking professional support.

Kooth online community

Emotional wellbeing

It's all right to cry sometimes

Children need to learn how to recognise and cope with their feelings, try not to tell your child how they feel. 

Children love to be praised

They thrive on it. They love to please you and are often desperate for your approval. Like you, they try much harder when you focus on the positive. 

Remember to give compliments

If you live with compliments you are more likely to feel good about yourself and give those compliments to others. Self-esteem is vital.

Make sure your child knows you love them

Make sure your child knows you love them and are proud of them. Remember to praise your child for trying not just succeeding. Doing so helps young children to feel safe and comforted. 

Encourage them to talk

Encourage them to talk to you whilst also being able to listen and respond sensitively to all kinds of things - not just nice things, but also anger, embarrassment, sadness or fear.

Be aware of the surrounding environment

What goes on in the family will have a massive impact on your child. They may need help in managing changes or coping with challenges. Be aware of how it must feel for them. 

E-School Nurse

What to do if you're worried. Talk with your child's doctor and share your concerns. Don't wait!

To provide health support and advice for children in Cumbria, we offer an easy-to-access online E-School Nurse Service. The video clinics are available for professionals, parents and carers across Cumbria all day Tuesdays and Thursdays. Instead of being face to face, you will talk to the nurse over a live video link that is private and secure. The nurse, in consultation with you, will assess the child's health problems and provide you with support and advice.

Make an E-School Nurse video appointment by ringing 01228 603973.