Learning to use cutlery is an important skill that takes time and practice. Some children may find this difficult because of challenges with hand strength, coordination, learning new skills or simply because they have had limited opportunities to practise.

Remember that messy eating is a normal part of learning.

Before you start

• make sure your child is sitting comfortably with good support
• make sure the table is at the right height and the plate does not slide around. A non-slip mat can help
• use child-sized cutlery or cutlery with chunky handles if needed
• eat together when possible so your child can watch and copy others
• allow extra time and try not to rush

Learning to use a spoon

Most children begin exploring a spoon between 9 and 12 months of age.

To help your child:

• let them hold their own spoon during mealtimes
• start with foods that stick to the spoon such as yoghurt, mashed potato or thick purées
• use bowls with raised sides to make scooping easier
• guide their hand if needed and gradually reduce your help
• praise all attempts, even if they are messy

Learning to use a fork

Once your child is confident using a spoon:

• introduce a child-sized fork
• start by placing food on the fork for them
• progress to easy-to-stab foods such as soft fruit or cooked vegetables
• encourage your child to hold the fork in one hand while beginning to use a spoon or knife in the other

Learning to drink from an open cup

• start with a cup that has two handles
• fill the cup only part way to reduce spills
• encourage your child to sit still while drinking
• gradually allow them to take more control of lifting and tipping the cup
• offer thicker drinks such as smoothies or yoghurt drinks at first

Learning to use a knife and fork together

Using a knife and fork together needs practice and coordination.

Helpful tips:

• encourage your child to hold the knife in their dominant hand where possible
• show them how to use a gentle sawing motion
• use visual reminders, such as pictures, showing where hands should be placed
• make sure fingers are positioned comfortably along the handles
• consistency is more important than perfection

Helping your child practise

• start with soft foods such as fish fingers, cooked vegetables, omelettes or pancakes
• gradually move on to firmer foods as skills improve
• reduce distractions, such as screen time, during mealtimes
• offer help only when needed and encourage independence
• a serrated knife may make cutting easier
• consider using reward charts to celebrate progress
• practise cutting and stabbing skills away from mealtimes using playdough

Remember

Focus on your child's effort rather than perfection, celebrate small successes and allow plenty of opportunities to practise. Little and often is the best way to build confidence and independence.